Darksiders Review

PC gamers often complain about the issues of porting console (action) games. To be truth, I find many of the arguments elitist and a little empty (take the issue of Portal 2 showing a ‘don’t turn off your console screen’ leading to a plethora of low star ratings on amazon.co.uk). Darksiders, though, is a terrible port. Terrible enough to warrant it as some of the worst games I have played.



The graphics comprise a huge aspect of the game. Based upon a comic strip, the game (like Braid) should be a glorious visual experience. The graphics, though, offer no options other than resolution. No anti-aliasing. No level of detail. Just resolution.

Repetitive is one word to describe the gameplay. Repetitive without the sense of skill required by, say, Devil May Cry or God of War. There are two attacks, but essentially the control system feels like a throwback to Golden Axe. When you consider the quality of Batman Arkham Asylum, there is no need to resort to the parcity of control that this game offers.

One initially excellent addition is the range of finishing moves. However, seeing the same errant leap onto a Cyclops to pull out its eye for the tenth time in two minutes is akin to hearing the same joke explained repeatedly by an annoying drunk.

Another thing, while I clearly nail my colours to the mast of this game. I dislike the culture of a character carrying a huge sword. Still, fortunately I was distracted by the game’s tendency to crash to desktop if the resolution was too high. Is this why resolution is the only graphical option to vary? I was forced to move the game’s resolution from 1920 to about 1000 just to keep this ill-made construction from falling to pieces.

To judge how annoying this crash is, I should say that Magicka crashed recently, losing my progress. I happily continued and played through the first chapter again. Darksiders forced me to replay the same parts 4-5 times until I dropped the resolution down to its minimum. And the sword is still too bloody big.

I guess this review has fallen to too focus on its flaw as a console port. If I were you, I would only purchase this, like a console game, in DVD format. While steam occasionally offers this for £5, the download is 11gig. You don’t see me complain about Empire’s 20gig download, though. Probably because I feel that I am getting a crafted games with plenty of content - not the gaming equivalent of a kid colloquially urinating away his bandwidth inheritance.